Jim Fisher

I had so much fun writing my last article that I’d like to bother you with a few more stories of Customers Who Are Not Always Right. With no further adieu:

One of our technicians, Martin, shared his story of the client who wanted a bigger mousepad for her computer because it wasn’t big enough to allow her to move the cursor across the entire width of the screen. Think about that. Take all the time you need.

A client once asked me how fast the processor was in a computer that I was trying to sell to him. I told him that it was an i7 running at 2.8-GHz. He then asked me to translate that to miles per hour. I think I told him 500 miles per hour but there is actually no correct answer to that.

I received this email a while back: “I left the computer on last night but I normally shut it down because that’s what my nephew told me I should so when I started it up this morning I went to a website and did some stuff then and it didn’t look right so I clicked on another thing and it started doing crazy stuff. What do you think that is?”

I asked him if he could be a little more specific. His reply, “I dunno. It was crazy stuff. Wasn’t acting right. Any ideas how to fix this?” I told him I would need to see the actual computer to be able to help. We never heard from him so maybe the crazy stuff stopped.

There was the client who brought a system into us 4 to 5 years ago. At that time, he had a bad motherboard which is a super-expensive repair.  He wisely chose not to repair that laptop, so it went into our massive computer graveyard. He recently brought another one in and we diagnosed a bad hard drive. He angrily accused us of “stealing” his old computer and trying to do the same thing with his new one. We showed him the hard drive test results and tried our best to convince him otherwise but he was hearing nothing of it, refused to accept our diagnosis, and stomped out mad with a non-working computer. I hope he found someone that would lie to him about his hard drive to make him feel better!

There was the guy who had problems watching streaming videos. He brought his computer in and my son, who works for me, fixed lots of stuff but could never recreate the problem he was describing. After a bit of back and forth trying to figure out what he was talking about, the client finally told my son and me that he was only having the problem with one particular pornographic website. He asked if we would watch the videos with him to see the problem for ourselves. Y’all, I’m not a prude but please don’t ask me and my son to watch your porn with you. Ever. Eww.


Jim Fisher owns Excel Computer Services in Florence. Reach him at www.ExcelAL.com